Hello and welcome to my blog, Jaded. I'm Jade and this is my spot for hanging out, making posts about my work, my books and just making random comments on life in general.
First off, I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself, eh? I hate talking about myself, and find it far easier to talk about my beliefs, my path, as they seem to take away that sense of unease. I was brought up to believe that over sharing or talking about yourself was an act of vanity (especially for girls), so it is really hard to self promote! I'm working on it though.
I am a Pagan (not a Wiccan), which means a polytheist who acknowledges both a male and a female divinity. Pagan means country dweller, or one who follows the old ways. It does not mean heathen. A heathen is one who has no god(s) nor belief in them. I became a Priestess in the 1990's and in 1999 became a High Priestess or HPS. Being a HPS simply means having the know-how and skills to conduct the rites of a coven. Yes, I am a member of a coven, and yes I do head my own coven.
I became interested in the paranormal, the occult, all things supposedly secretive and mysterious, because in a nutshell I was a curious kid. The church my mother occasionally dragged me off to was big on telling you to sit down and shut up. The young had no business being curious or in asking questions. If you were a girl, especially, you were to sit silently for hours on end, with a smile on your face. Boys were given much more leeway. Disillusionment came at an early age, as I was told so often to "take it on faith". That seemed to be the go to response, until I finally kept quiet and stopped asking questions.
Around age 11 or 12, right about 1973, I came across a small book on Witchcraft and I was fascinated. Some of it creeped me out, and in my gut I knew something was off, but I also recognized a power and a truth in the midst of the babble. That sense of something more stayed with me.
It was around 1985 when I started to seek answers to things I could never get a straight answer on. I poked around discreetly, then after my mother's death (she was dead set against me learning anything she did not approve of, sad to say) I began to study and learn of other options, other paths, other ways of life.
That eventually led me to a part time job and the person who became the love of my life as well as my best friend. With his full support and compassion, I delved deeper into my studies and started to find what I had been seeking my whole life.
Long story short, in those early days I was blessed to meet the Goddess. She was so amazing, so beautiful, so forgiving that all I could do was weep and fall to my knees. I felt so humble, so frail, and yet so loved. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I came to know her as Hathor later on, but that first impression was of many rolled into one incredible being. She changed my life. She changed my world. She changed me.
Having had very negative experiences in the Christian churches, I grew brave enough, and I must admit angry enough, that I wanted to see these Old Gods, these Pagan Gods for myself. If their female God, the Goddess, was so remarkable, I had to know the other half of this equation. They came to me, as I opened my heart, mind and life to them, at first it was Lugh, then Balder and Anubis. Having always felt drawn to Anubis I was staggered by his compassion, his sense of humor and his need to protect those he saw as his own. These Gods were kind, generous with their time, and so very patient. They began to teach me of the Old Ways and I was eager to learn more.
Yet again, I found acceptance and love, a forgiveness for my failings and weaknesses. I also found no fear of going to this "hell" that Christians are taught to fear. Having accepted the God and the Goddess into my life, my heart, I was no longer on that conveyor belt toward damnation. For once in my life, I was truly spared, saved the horrors, and free of fear.
The journey did not stop there. But this is a good place to wrap this first post.
In Peace,
Jade
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